I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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