We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
