it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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