Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
