I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
