Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
