she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
