Its about making memories worth repressing
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Floor bacon is actually really good
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
