we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
