her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize