She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
