just tell him i said nine months
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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