normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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