she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
