): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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