hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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