You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
