I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
did you just send me my own nude
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
