can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
