I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
