I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
