The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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