So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
