this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
