you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
