I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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