she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
