...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
