I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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