Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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