Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
well you can't waste a boner
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
