so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize