I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
