I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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