why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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