Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You dont lie about slip and slides
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
