Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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