You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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