One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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