I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
