i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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