The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
