:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
