Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
