my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
