I need help removing her.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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