Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
