No awkward lesbian experiences without me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
