nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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