He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize