Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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