Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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