I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
