Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's

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(708): View more from Illinois

chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I deserve to be covered in dicks

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(916): View more from California

Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking

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