Christians are straight up FREAKS
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
