eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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