Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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