yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
