the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
