The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
