Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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