He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
