so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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